Do No Harm (but take no shit)
Sound harsh? I have discovered a recurring pattern about myself and many other spiritual people recently. It is a belief that “loving one another” has to look like being nice or accommodating or endlessly forgiving.
I have watched myself and others hurry up and reframe unkind words, absence of respect or equity, and overall relationships that don’t work. I have heard things like:
Well, you know how “they” are.
Just make the best of it.
They are doing the best they can like we all do. Maybe they are having a bad day?
Don’t take it personally.
I think it might be time to acknowledge that while as many of us strive to do no harm it doesn’t mean that everyone else follows that same belief. Nor do we have endure harm or mistreatment ourselves just because we hold a respect for life. I am all about being forgiving and loving. Fundamentally, it is integral to my spiritual beliefs, but I have recently acknowledged that sometimes the greatest act of love that I can do is to walk away.
Boundaries are good!! If you find yourself disregarding or stepping over what you are feeling, you can try different ways of responding instead of just being great about it.
Speak up – let someone know that what they said or did didn’t feel good. It is possible that they may not have realized how what they are saying or doing is impacting you. We all get stuck in our own world sometimes. I have found myself on the receiving end of someone speaking up. It was a great opportunity for us to resolve the conflict and get connected.
Make requests – be clear with others how you like to be treated. Don’t assume that others know what works best for you or what doesn’t. My hubby and I tease each other as a sign of affection, but there are areas for both of us that feel vulnerable or uncomfortable to be teased about. So he lets me know and I let him know what those are.
Be willing to take action – if you have already tried speaking up and made requests, but the person persists, you might need to talk to someone who can help you. In the case of a co-worker who makes remarks about your choice of clothing or who you date, you might have to go to HR to get your communication through. In the case of a relationship like a friendship or romantic partner, you might need to walk away.
Sometimes those “bad” feelings we are having are a communication from our soul that something is not working. Pay attention to yourself. Imagine what it would be like if we took great care of ourselves on all levels: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.
Namaste and thanks for reading. Please feel free to comment and share!!