As I was heading out to a special event, a message from someone popped up on my phone. Absently I read it. It was a doozy. Someone was upset with me and sharing with me that her experience was that I really don’t care about people. Immediately, my internal people pleaser who came out of retirement to add her voice on this situation, began the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out what happened. Oh no what did I do? How do I fix this? Went straight down the shame and upset tunnel. You know that place where your mind is racing. You stop being present and you lose you. My mind begin to paint worse case scenarios. What if she shares this with our mutual acquaintances? Will they agree? Is what she wrote true?… What if… What if…
I tried to give myself a pep talk. She isn’t responding to you. You can’t make everyone happy. Don’t take it personally. It didn’t work. I got into the car feeling agitated. As I drove my mood did not improve. Traffic was crazy. My shoes felt uncomfortable. I had forgotten my water bottle.
Then at a red light it occurred to me suddenly. Does any of this belong to me? The thoughts. My doubts about myself. The feelings of shame. My fear and all the energy I was putting towards the worst case scenarios. Even my physical sensations like the lump in my throat and feeling nausea was that mine. NO the majority of my experience in that moment was about the energy I had taken on reading the message. The upset the person was having with me. I took it all on. How the energy that was showing up was as emotions, my racing thoughts, and even lump in my throat.
No wonder my pep talk wasn’t working. No amount of pep was going to work out the upset someone else was having with me. So I started using my clearing tools. I have quite a treasure trove I have collected over the years. I returned the upset to sender. Wherever it had come from whether the message or if I had picked up more elsewhere. Then I cut some chords with person the message came from. Some other people I had stuck in my thoughts so I cut those chords. I got clear that a bit of the upset left over was mine so I cleared that too then I cleared entities. I cloaked and then I asked some more questions.
- What am I aware of that I haven’t acknowledged yet?
- What would it take to receive the judgement or criticism of others without a meltdown?
- What is right about this?
- What is wrong about this?
- How much am I willing to receive?
- What if everything is the opposite of what it appears to be?
It took 45 minutes. But by the time I was parking at the event, I was clear. Any energy that wasn’t mine had been returned. I felt like myself. AND I felt immensely grateful. It reminded me of how powerful having tools that work are. How easy it can be to lose ourselves in life and when we get into a space of feeling stuck, how hard it can be to out of it.
I don’t know if this will speak to you or even help. But I decided to share it as empaths so much of what we are experiencing in any moment can seem like it is ours. 90% of it is actually isn’t. The tools I have learned over the last 22 years work well together. I don’t use any one set of tools. I use them all. Clearing is my way to get back to the place where I can hear my intuition, trust myself, and let things go. I clear on the daily.
The funny part of the whole experience was that other than the message I had gotten in that moment circumstantially my life was great. The amount of upset and crazy making I had didn’t even make sense with reality. Energy can be like that when we don’t realize it is time to wring out the sponge. The conclusion of this whole story was once I cleared the energy, I was able to intuit what happened. I could respond to the message and had some space for her and for me. It can be easy to focus on things that don’t help or make any difference. The shifts that continue to make a huge difference include recognizing and working with the energetics of you.
Tools for clearing I Love and often use in combination with eachother:
- Access Consciousness – theclearingstatement.com
- Cutting Chords
- Return to Sender
- Past Life Clearings
- EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
- Asking Questions
- and many others